Episode6 Segment 1 - You're not alone in coping with pain

I think if I didn't have my family supporting me I don't think I'd still be here today.

That's probably it.

They've got me through… all of it.

When you have chronic pain it's important to remember that you're not alone, that your parents or your caregivers are around for you.

It's important to let them know what you want though - It's Important to communicate what's helpful for you and what's not helpful for you.

Family is very important because they are your support base 24/7.

You can't escape them - not that I want to either! But you just need them around to help you get through everything.

Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind but I guess that's the way that it has to be and without my parents I don't think I would've been able to get through this whole ordeal.

We had to… be firm, and encouraging, we had to be supportive, um… we could see Sam at times, I guess, you could see that he was in pain, um… Sam's very good at verbalising I guess sort of how he is anyway and sort of what was going on, he was… he wasn't one just to sort of stop talking and withdraw he actually verbalised very well about his pain so that probably made it easier in a way that we knew how he was feeling and, um… so we could talk about things and we are lucky, I guess, in our family that communication is really important.

As a teenager you should be doing a self-management approach but you can do this with the help of your parents by sitting down and having a good conversation with your parents about what you do and don't want them to do what you find most helpful and what you find least helpful in your pain management strategy plan.

So some of those strategies might be for them to do the activities with you that you've learnt, whether it be a relaxation exercise or deep breathing exercise - you can ask them to help you remind you to do things if you want them to.

If you don't want them to let them know.

Otherwise you can let them know what your plan is so they can stop asking and then you feel like your being less nagged Which is quite a common complaint of teenagers.

Anna had days where every word I spoke was wrong and then she had other days where she really just listened so… you've just got to prompt her, I had to prompt her a fair bit, but in the end it was what she wanted and um… sometimes you have to plant the seed and make them think that they've thought of it.

That's a good tip too.

Um and then that way they do it in their time when they’re ready, yeah, ‘cause if you push too hard it can backfire.

We get some kids that we see… they get really frustrated with their parents because one minute the mum comes in and asks about their pain, five minutes later the dad comes in and asks about the pain, and they're just sick and tired of people asking about their pain, but they don't know that unless you tell them.

So you need to communicate to your family what you do and don't want them to do for you.

The other strategy that you might use is not to talk about pain within your household.

When people start asking you about your pain, when you’re not actually thinking about it, you start to think about the pain and then that can make you then have pain you didn't actually realise that you had.

So reducing the word ‘pain’ within the household can be really beneficial to everyone involved.

It takes the focus off pain and puts the focus on your function and all the good things that you’re doing as well.