When experiencing pain, the sensation can be communicated to others in a number of ways, including grimacing, sighing, groaning, moaning, limping, complaining, and so forth.

But this is not an effective way of communicating. Others might not know how to respond to this. They may ignore it, get frustrated, or annoyed by it. And sometimes these ways of communicating can happen more or become exaggerated if a person feels that their pain is not understood by others.

6 Tips to improve communication

Instruction

Below are 6 tips to improve the way you can communicate to other people about your pain. To find out ways of improving your communication, roll your mouse over each tip box.

Timing

If you have something you want to tell someone, try to choose a time when they are not busy or likely to be distracted by other things. Try to avoid times when either of you are hungry or tired.

Be clear and focused

Stay focussed on the point you are making. Try not to talk about things that will distract the other person from your main message. If the other person starts talking about other things, try to acknowledge the point they are making but suggest that you discuss this issue at another time (try to say when this could be).

Voice

Try to use a tone of voice and volume that is strong but not argumentative. If it is a sensitive topic that you are raising it is especially important to talk slowly and clearly. This helps the other person to listen to what you are saying and makes it less likely that they might become agitated.

Body language

Be aware of your body movements when you are talking with someone. When body language is not consistent with the verbal message, the other person is likely to doubt the verbal message. Think about how you use your hands, how close you are to the other person, your eye contact, and your body posture.

Facial expression and smiling

Smiling communicates friendliness as well as an openness and willingness to communicate. It is an easy way to put another person at ease. Smiling also releases endorphins which helps you to feel better.

Listen

Allow the other person the chance to respond. Listen carefully to what they say. Even if you disagree, it is useful to let them know that you have heard and understood their views. You can do this by briefly summarising what they have just said. For example, "So, are you saying that your biggest concern is...?"

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Transcript: Segment 4 - How can I communicate with my family about my pain?

I would get really angry, moody, I'd constantly snap at mum or my sister and then it would just… be like World War III cause I was always angry, um… we'd fight all the time but I think mum and my sister understood that I’m in pain, don't make me angry, otherwise it's not a good idea.

When Anna's in pain, she, you can tell, she's just… her mood changes, her face… changes, her expressions, the way she walks, the moves, it all changes - you just know when she's in pain.

Um… we try not to make to much fuss about it, you know, I'll probably prompt her, you know do you need to have a lay down or do you think that’s you’re going to be right in those shoes or something like that but um… If you just… body language gives it away all the time but she's pretty direct, she'll tell me if I'm not switched on.

It's really important to remember how you communicate your pain - some kids whine and moan and groan and you need to think about what that's telling your family members.

Some family members might find that quite annoying and actually ignore you which doesn't get anyone any results.

so it's good to have a communication with your family members to find out what the best way to communicate your… your pain with them is, whether you want to tell them that you've got pain, whether you want to give it a rating out of 10 of how bad your pain is and then actually telling them what you want them to do about that is going to be helpful for not only you but your family member to understand and how they should be reacting to you as well.

And regarding communication one of the things we know that Bayly needs to learn more now is that his parents aren't always with him so and he's old enough now to be able to say “Look I'm hurting, or I'm tired or I'm sick.

Can I have a rest or can I have some pain killers?” and especially at times where he's at school for six hours - we're not there when he goes on school excursions, and overnight ones especially, we're not there so we've included it in his personal learning plan which is part of the communication we have with school, so that his teachers are working with Bayly as well to encourage him to speak up and… advocate for himself if he sees a need and… just to basically communicate how he's feeling when he's feeling that he needs a bit more support.